About Me… The Backstory
So much life… so many articles, and I’m not done yet
Hi! I’m Sandy Peckinpah, and I’ve been a writer on Medium for a long time, publishing my first article on March 22, 2016. I’ve written articles for numerous publications here, and I’ve learned the value of having an interactive blogging platform where I can read and interact with some remarkable writers and readers.
I‘m writing this to share a bit about who I am and why I write. I don’t know about you, but I often look at the tiny profile photos of people here on Medium, and I wish that it was a portal to knowing more about them.
If you’ve followed me for awhile, you know that I write about a central theme… No matter what you’re going through, there’s a way to find deeper meaning and restore strength and happiness to your life. Writing opened the door to my inner peace and the woman I am today.
But it wasn’t always that way…
Decades ago, I was a reluctant writer. I dreamed of writing, but I never felt confident I could do it on my own.
For 26 years I worked behind the scenes of a professional writer. My late husband, David, was an Emmy-nominated television and film writer and producer, doing numerous shows and movies, including the Sci-Fi Show, Sliders, Silk Stalkings, Beauty and the Beast on CBS, and the blockbuster feature, Man of the House, for Disney. I share this because I’m incredibly proud of the body of work and his career… and it was mine, too.
I was David’s chief “inspirer” and his editor. Together we’d give birth to dialogue, storylines, and concepts that made for a successful television and movie career. There wasn’t a script I didn’t work on. I passionately loved it, but I hid behind the shadow of his career and always wondered… could I write alone?
There was a bit of imposter syndrome going on with me. (a topic I wrote about here: Stop Feeling Like an Imposter). I devalued my role in this magnificent career because I didn’t trust my abilities or worthiness.
It took a life-altering experience to take away my fear
That spark of inspiration was the birth of my daughter. My third child, Julianne, was born with a severe facial defect, a bilateral cleft lip and gum. It would take numerous surgeries throughout her childhood to repair her face.
When life throws the unexpected your way, it’s a turning point. You either accept the challenge or struggle a lifetime asking, “Why me, why my child?” It wouldn’t be easy for her, and I knew I had to be her guide.
It was a demanding mission I didn’t take lightly. I set out to write Julianne a book that could encourage her self-esteem and inspire her with words as she faced the world with her unique face. I didn’t know then that we were part of God’s greater plan to raise awareness about congenital abnormalities. The book attracted a broad audience in news media and landed in schools, hospitals, libraries, and clinics.
That’s the power of storytelling. It does make a difference.
Rosey…the Imperfect Angel was then recorded as a CD, produced by Tony Award Winner, Michael Aldenwho also wrote the music, and recorded by the Moscow Symphony Orchestra. It starred the voice of actress Melissa Gilbert, best known for her portrayal as Laura Ingalls in Little House on the Prairie. The CD made to the Grammy Ballot in 2009!
There’s quite a backstory to this, and synchronicities that cannot be believed but… the Universe had my back. Here’s the whole story: And Suddenly I had to Write
My desire to change the world for my daughter didn’t stop there. I discovered how our stories could impact other people. I continued writing and published my second book, another children’s fairytale titled Chester… the Imperfect All Star.
I had just begun the book tour when I experienced the greatest shock of my life…
It changed me forever…
Sometimes our darkest hours inspire our greatest purpose
On a day in December, my beautiful 16-year-old son woke up with a fever. He was rarely sick, so I hastily made a doctor’s appointment. The doctor diagnosed him with Type A Flu and prescribed bed rest, fluids, and Tylenol for his fever. Garrett spent the day in bed, and as I kissed him goodnight, I promised we’d go Christmas shopping when he felt better.
I woke up the next day to find my son had died in his sleep sometime during the night.
The doctor had been dead wrong. The autopsy showed Garrett had a toxic and deadly form of bacterial meningitis. He went from being a vibrant, athletic, healthy teenager to taking his last breath in less than 24 hours.
If you’ve experienced loss, you know it’s the hardest thing you could ever go through. I wrote the full story here: Struggling with Loss?
I didn’t know if I could go on…
But a friend who’d lost a child brought me a book written by another bereaved mother.
That book was my lifeline. It was the reason I could get up in the morning. That mother’s words encouraged me to begin the healing process. I started writing in a journal. I believe so much in journaling as a healing tool, I wrote about it here: 10,000 Ideas in Your Notebook
I vowed if I could heal from this, I’d write my own story
And So I did
My book, How to Survive the Worst that Could Happen, was my journey of loss, woven with research and experience to offer a way for grieving parents.
I fought it. I was afraid of bringing up feelings I couldn’t handle, but I discovered it was incredibly healing. I felt my son beside me as I wrote every single day. It was a beautiful, spiritual transformation as I could feel what I needed to write. The muse took over, and the words flowed. I had the stack of my journals at my desk for reference, and in re-reading them, I could see all the things I’d done to heal, and most importantly, how far I’d come. In the process, I learned how to help others rise from life’s most challenging and difficult transition, living life again after losing a beloved child.
I took it a step further in learning about grief, studying at the Grief Recovery Institute in Los Angles to became a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®.
I’m always sad when I recommend my book because it means another child has died.
If you or anyone is struggling with such a loss, here’s my book, How to Survive the Worst that can Happen:
English version: How to Survive the Worst that can Happen (link to “Goodreads” outside of Medium)
Chinese version: How to Survive the Worst that can Happen (link outside of Medium)
I’m grateful for the gifts that writing has given me
I’m still writing and sharing my story in articles, podcasts, social media, and speaking. But my story is so much more. As the years go by, I’ve learned that life is never just one set of challenges or significant achievements. It’s bits and pieces of what life throws your way, along with the unexpected life challenges that change you forever.
I’ve written 5 books, some of which are proudly award-winning. I’m published in Huffington Post, Thrive Global, and The Good Men Project, among others. I enjoy writing for Medium and publishing in The Startup, Illumination, Curious, The Ascent, The Mission, The Writing Cooperative, and Publishous, among others.
As writers, we have the gift of being a part of this remarkable Medium movement where writing and reading are interactive, informative, and inspiring! I’ve met so many wonderful people here, and it’s also given me visibility outside of Medium.
Because of my work, people often contact me, asking for advice and information on beginning a writing practice.
Every person has their own courageous story that deserves to be told. I started mentoring women to help them find the path to healing and envisioning their future. That led to coaching women through the process of writing a book or starting a blog. I like to get them started with an article you can download as a PDF. Seven Exceptional Strategies to Get Your Writing Started
Writing changes people
While working with aspiring writers, I’ve seen their journey of enlightenment, joy, and dreams coming true. The best part of mentoring is the moment they say that writing helped them heal. They began seeing their lives through a new lens… and it felt good.
It’s worth it when you know there’s transformation around the bend
Random Things
Most surprising life event
Finding love in the second act of life…
After 26 years of marriage and the untimely loss of my first husband, I reconnected years later with a man I’d met in Up with People when I was just 16! We married in 2011!
Meeting him and falling in love was proof that visualization does work! You can read the love story here:
How I Manifested the Love of My Life… Again
When I was young…
I left home and traveled the world at 16 with a show called Up with People. It was a song and dance musical, and we performed in a vast array of countries. I took high school on the road, but my greatest education was learning about other countries and cultures. We learned the entire show in the language of each country we visited. Ask me to sing a song in Italian! French! …Lingala! (Republic of the Congo, Africa)
Who’s my dream team?
I’m so fortunate to have friends who’ve carried me through the toughest times and celebrated with me in the best of times. I don’t take them for granted, and I don’t know how I could have survived without them! I wrote an article about it: Whose Got Your Back When Life Hits You with Loss?
My best friend of 30 years is Melissa Gilbert, who played Laura Ingalls on Little House on the Prairie. We’ve shared a lot of life together. Melissa was my Maid of Honor at my wedding! Melissa says this about friendship:
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s so true. My best friend and I have talked about this, and we boiled it down. We came up with the idea that life is like a pearl necklace. In between each pearl is a knot. Without the knots, the pearls would fall away. The pearls are the good times in life — births, celebrations, marriages, and joys… the knots are the hard times, but they hold it all together. You can’t have one without the other.”
This fall we got together and had a matching jammies day to celebrate the birth of her new company, Modern Prairie! It’s for women celebrating life in the second act. You can check it out here: Modern Prairie. If you dive into the website, you’ll see and article Melissa wrote about our friendship. It was the gift of a lifetime.
My favorite daily habit…
I ritualize my writing time by scheduling it in my calendar and making it a big deal! I begin by making a cappuccino. I’m a major coffee lover! I had my first sip of espresso when I was 16 while traveling in Italy. It’s a love affair that’s never ended.
I then select the music of the day and light a candle. I close my eyes and have a quiet moment of reflection, opening the channels of my thoughts. It’s a discovery process that includes journaling. All of this takes just 15 minutes, and I’m ready to start my writing day.
Here are some other writing tips in this article: It Begins with One Sentence
Most annoying writing habit
As you read this article, it’s not hard for you to see I’m a habitual ellipsis user, but I can think of no better way to describe taking a breath…. Need I say more?
Surprising goal that came true…
I’d always dreamed of having my own radio show ever since I did the “Teen Update” on KNRY in my hometown, Monterey, CA. I was 15 years old, and I had 10 glorious minutes on the air every week. I LOVED it. I returned to that station a lifetime later with my lifelong friend, Paula MacNab. Passion By Design is a show about designing and living a life of passion. It aired in Northern California, KNRY, and in Phoenix, on KFNX AM Talk Radio.
Favorite Relaxation and Indulgence
Food! I passionately love to cook and entertain… especially Italian food. I’m married to an Italian, too! I wrote about one of my signature recipes in this article: Everyone Should Have a Signature Something
Greatest family delight…
Christmas morning with my children and grandchild. They all live in SoCal too, and they come home for Christmas! I still do stockings for each of them!
Silliness that became serious
I have the fairest skin. My husband teases that I glow in the dark! Because I’m a fair-skinned redhead, I’ve had more than one run-in with the consequences. Here’s the article: A Chance Meeting with a 10X mirror Saved my Life
I’d love to encourage you to write and share your story… because your story matters!
Here’s an article I wrote to get you thinking about it! Your Story Matters
I’m so grateful for my life and the lessons I’ve learned…I want to inspire you to value your story and the remarkable person you’ve become. We’ve all had challenges, but when challenges are shared, it awakens others to the possibility that they, too, can endure and go on to have a wonderful fulfilling life.
With love…
Your story matters. It’s unique to you and has never been told from your point of view. Isn’t it time to share your story and talents with the world? If you’d like to learn more about writing services, please visit my website: SandyPeckinpah.com
